Well today was a sad day. It was my last day at the gym. Since I will be going part-time next week Mon-Wed and I only went to gym on Thursday morning that is no longer going to work with me. So after oh I don't know 5 or 6 maybe more years of that gym with my buddies, I had to say good-bye. I know it is the best decision so that I can be with my baby girl but I'm still sad. I hope that I can start working out in downstairs at least 2 days a week and walk every morning with Caylee-Grace to try to keep some shape.
On another note, last night at church I had to take Caylee-Grace out to the nursery because she wouldn't be quiet and when we were in the nursery I think she said "Nanna". Teale and Candace heard her too so there is probably not doubt that it was "Nanna". Honestly I wanted to just sit there and cry but I didn't. It broke my heart because that morning she said "Da Da" and then now she said "Nanna". This is the main reason I wanted to be able to stay at home so I could spend more time with her and so she would maybe say "Ma Ma" after "Da Da" but oh well - she probably didn't know what she was saying anyway but it did sound alot like "Nanna".
I need prayers. I'm starting to get a bad attitude and a little depressed. I know it will get better next week when I go part-time but I'm just still overwhelmed and I also scared to death about going part-time and I know I've prayed about it and it is going to be the best decision but I'm still worried. I'm going to do my best to cut back and be a bargain shopper and try to save everywhere I can.
Another thing that has been on my mind alot lately is my spiritual time. I have to admit and I'm not happy to admit but I haven't read my bible any since I have been back to work. I use to get up every morning when I was on maternity leave and read at least 30-45 minutes and that was my routine while I exercised. I have prayed and prayed that I will do better and be a better Christian and study more and get more involved in the church. That is one of my first priority when going part-time is to get back into studying every day or at least 3 days a week. It just seems all so overwhelming at church trying to focus on the sermon when you have a baby. It is hard to get anything out of it sometime. Please pray for me that I can be a better Mother, Christian and wife. I know that my number one priority in life is to service the Lord and bring as many people to Christ as possible because the ultimate goal in life should be to go to Heaven. Second would be my family and then me so I'm going to strive to do better.
Thanks for listening to me babble on and I thank you for being my blogging buddies.
Love ya'll!
7 comments:
You have such a good heart! You will definitely be in my prayers as you embark on this new adventure. I know you're worry is just the unknown. It will be fine, I know it will.
Your conscience about your spiritual life is so encouraging me. Reading it has sparked some triggers in my brain and heart as well. I am so glad you're one of my best buddies. I love you.
Thanks Crystal you are a sweetie. I love you too! You are such an encourager yourself.
You will definitely be in my prayers. Everything will work out great, I have no doubt.
You are such a good example of a Christian wife and mother, Belinda. You are encouraging to me. I am very thankful I have you as my friend. :)
Don't be down, Mama B! You are a great mother to CG and a wonderful example. I feel the same as you do about worship, it's so hard to focus when you have a little one crawling all over you, or you're changing a diaper or wiping spit-up! But look at it this way, you are doing the very best thing for that sweet baby by bringing her to church (even when you're tired, don't feel like it, think she doesn't notice, etc.) and teaching her from Day 1 how to live the life of a Christian.
Everything will work out just fine for you, I'm glad you get to have more time at home with her. We can get the girls together, and there are several FREE things to do (story time at the library, parks, free zoo days) that will be big fun! I'm trying so hard to soak up each and every day because they grow so fast! Can you believe it's getting close to a year!?! Best year ever... :)
Keep your head up, Belinda! It is hard to bring a little one to church but it is so worth it. I haven't heard a full lesson in almost 3 years but I try my best to listen and soak as much in as possible. It is hard but God is proud that you are raising that baby in the church and teaching her that it is important to keep coming and following Him even when it is hard! You will find a routine in Bible reading and the fact that you are concerned about it proves that you can make time for God!
Don't worry about her not saying "Ma-Ma" yet. She will! She knows that you love her. Don't take it personally. You will love being home with her more! You may have to give up some stuff but in a couple of months you won't even be able to name anything you gave up. If you can, you won't care because time with your baby will be worth it!
You're such a precious lady. I think you are a great example to younger people, myself included. I see you bring CG and it makes me look forward to being able to do that some day. You are a great lady and I will be preying for you. I love you!
You will be in my prayers. Like so many have already said, I know how hard it is to take in the lesson when you are trying to attend to little ones. But the most important thing is that you and baby girl are there! It will get easier as she gets older. I am proud of you for always being there and doing your best. I know things will get better for you soon.
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