Well yesterday started out really well. I told myself "you aren't going to cry and everything is going to be ok today and the rest of the week" WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't cry until 7pm last night. I came straight home as usual and feed her. Let me just say she isn't nursing good anymore now that I've gone to work. I played with her some and went down and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes with her and talked to her while I was walking. She started getting fussy about 7 and wouldn't nurse and had to give her a bottle she screamed nothing helped her I literally cried from 7-9 hard crying. I was so upset because this is the only time that I get to spend with her each day and it is spent with her fussy and crying. She is good all day for Nanna and I'm getting the rough end of this deal each day. I don't know what is going on with her, if she is just trying to adjust but let me just say that I WILL NOT deal with this if this is the way it is going to be everyday. I will be having a serious talk with Randal. This is my precious baby that I have waited 6 LONG years for and it breaks my heart for her to want to be with her Nanna more then her mother. I even got so upset that I told my mom to please leave the room because I felt like Caylee-Grace wanted to be with her and this was my time. I would rather drink water and eat peanut butter sandwiches all the time and be poor then to deal with this fulltime. It just isn't fair. I have waited too long to be a mom and it isn't worth it to feel like this. She nursed a little better this morning but still was fussy.
I'm so sorry if I am being negative. I know that I need more prayers and I pray hard each night that it gets better. I don't know maybe I need some drugs to get thru this. Please continue to pray that it gets better and I deal better with it. I just had to vent a little. Thanks for listening to my troubles. Love ya'll.
8 comments:
I agree with you whole-heartedly. I would have a talk with Randal. If there's ANY way at all for you to be with her, I would. No material thing is worth sacrificing time with your precious baby and especially for you to wait and pray SO LONG for her. I am praying that the outcome is reached soon and it's what we all want for you. I'm here for you girl. I love you.
I have been thinking alot about you since I saw you at church Sunday. You will get through this.I know it is so hard but just know that you are not alone and EVERY mama goes through this. How do you deal ** PRAYER ** and friends. I will keep you in my prayers and I know it will work out for your family.....
Beth
I can only imagine how you must be feeling. But I hate so badly what you are going through. You should really have a heart to heart talk with him. You two could make it work, I know you could. I am praying hard for you and that the situation will get better. I am always here for you. Love you!
I am so sorry you are going through this. I will pray an extra prayer for you everyday that there will be some solution to your problem. I love you and I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
I'm sorry mama B... it will get better. I am a big supporter whatever you decide to do, but let me tell you... we do live on peanut butter sandwiches and cereal a lot of the time. It's not always easy but we do what we have to do to make it work. But there is no "wrong" decision, it's just whatever you and Randal decide is best for your family. She'll adjust, either way. Have you looked into finding something where you could work from home?
Wow. I don't know what to say. I feel so incredibly bad for you having to go through this. I can't imagine. At one point I want to say I would be thankful for Caylee-Grace to want to spend time with your Mom and that she loves her but I can't imagine how I would react. I know you are trying to handle the situation as best you can and I will continue to pray for you. Everything will work out for the best and you know that. God didn't give you this baby so that you would have to be miserable leaving her. He will take care of you, Randal, and the baby. I love you so much and respect and look up to you. You are a wonderful lady and I pray that things will get better.
I totally agree with you...you just do whatever you have to do for your piece of mind and for that precious baby!! I will be praying for you!!
You are in my prayers. Love you.
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